Kimmel ghostwrites ‘book’ for Trump: ‘Winners Aren’t Losers’

Donald Trump reads the last bit of 'Winners Aren't Losers.'

A day after the Republican showdown in Las Vegas, GOP front-runner Donald Trump appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live to discuss a number of things, from debate ratings to his proposal to temporarily ban Muslims from entering the country.

Much of the interview was typical Trump, with the businessman defending his suggested policies (yes, there should be a wall), criticizing his fellow candidates who are polling so low that they should probably just drop out already (read: Lindsey Graham and George Pataki), and chiming in on queries others have answered (he doesn’t want to comment on whether he’d kill baby Hitler).

But leave it to host Kimmel to take the mogul and author multiple times over and turn him into… A children’s book author. Kind of.

Kimmel closed out his interview with Trump by explaining that he’d ghostwritten a book for the candidate entitled Winners Like Me. The Dr. Seuss-esque bit captured the tone of Trump’s time on the election trail.

The full transcript:.

Winners aren’t losers.
They’re winners like me.
A loser’s a loser.
Which one will you be?

Winners do deals and winners get rich,
While sad little losers just sit there and bitch.

The dog is a loser, and frankly, I pity it.
This dog did bad deals. This dog is an idiot.

And poor Mr. Bear, he must feel like a loser,
Valeting that 2006 PT Cruiser.

This lobster’s a loser, throw him in the pot.
I like a lobster who doesn’t get caught.

Those losers are failures who get nothing done.
Just do what I do and you’ll be No. 1.

Now, here are some frogs I do not like at all.
We must kick these frogs out and then build a wall.

Oh the place you’ll go, on your yacht, on your plane,
With your suits from Milan and your wives from Ukraine.

Oh the buildings you’ll build, oh the wealth you’ll amass,
All the people around you all kissing your ass.

There are two kind of people, which one will you be?
A loser like them?

And here, Kimmel paused and asked Trump if he’d like to finish.

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Kimmel: “Or a winner…”.

Trump: “Like me.”.